CHICK CHAT Controversy
Chick Chat likes to cover topics of a wide variety. Today's post is the first in the Chick Chat Controversy Category.
Every post that is tough to talk about, makes people uncomfortable, and maybe even trigger someone will be labeled, "CHICK CHAT Controversy," just like up top under the title.
This is a safe space, a place where women can come and read posts that go up. If you ever decide to leave comments please be mindful of what you decide to say. Be kind in the comments and be courteous. Remember: Every woman has a story.
What does the title of the article mean?
Anyone know?
Why would it be repeated?
Over & Over & Over..
Because Abuse is Abuse, is Abuse, is Abuse.
You cannot sugarcoat it.
Mental Abuse is still Abuse.
Emotional Abuse is still Abuse.
Sexual Abuse is still Abuse.
Technological Abuse is still Abuse.
Financial Abuse is still Abuse.
Abuse my Immigration Status is still Abuse.
Physical Abuse is still Abuse.
Let's dive deeper...
Abuse has become a topic very prevalent in the mainstream media in the last 2-5 years. Cases upon cases have been brought to the attention of the people whether you are a caseworker, judge, everyday joe, and maybe even a teacher. Recently a mutual stand has taken place in many forms with the success of shedding light on the subjects at hand. But the problem with bringing big controversial topics like abuse to the forefront is, how do you fix it going forward?
This blog post is going to shed light on the different types of abuses and at the very end resources with be provided for those that may want to report or call in for themselves.
Mental Abuse
"Mental abusers are people who attempt to control that person's life based on insecurities, and misguided sense of power."
- Better Help
As I researched on how to explain what exactly mental abuse is, I tried to form it into my own definition and I couldn't articulate the words as perfect as the quote above. Something I want to express while writing this post, is all of these topics don't have to happen in a marital/romantic relationship. These situations can happen between friends, family, bosses, and romantic partners; etc. Anybody that feels like they overpower you in the mind will try to mentally abuse you.
Emotional Abuse
"In general, a relationship is emotionally abusive when there is a consistent pattern of abusive words and bullying behaviors that wear down a person's self-esteem and undermine their mental health."
- Very Well Mind
Emotional abuse in the last two to three years I personally have seen more prevalent on social media. Depending on the relationship it is portrayed as funny or endearing and it is not.
Sexual Abuse
"Sexual abuse is unwanted sexual activity, with perpetrators using force, making threats or taking advantage of victims not able to give consent. Most victims and perpetrators know each other. Immediate reactions to sexual abuse include shock, fear or disbelief. Long-term symptoms include anxiety, fear or post-traumatic stress disorder."
- apa.org
The #MeToo movement is the largest response and call to action for sexual abuse victims across the United States. Some of the most shocking individuals have come out as abusers for decades. Sexual Abuse has no face, skin color, age, OR gender.
Technological Abuse
"Technology is a tool that abusers use to facilitate harassment, control, and abuse. In the context of domestic violence and sexual assault, online harassment and crimes are part of a larger system of abuse.  The abuser or rapist want power and control over the victim (either through physical control, fear, or isolation) and to force her or him into doing what the perpetrator wants. Through technology, perpetrators monitor survivors’ activities, control what the survivor can or can’t do, or harass the survivor regularly and in a variety of ways." - Women's Media Center
Social media is meant to be a tool to help grow businesses, brands, establish yourself depending on your career, or just to have fun. However, social media has a dark side. People exercise their opinions on social media everyday. Under your favorite celebrities comments someone is calling them an unfit mother. Under a news post someone is calling an opposing political party member out of their name. Social media has zero filter.
Financial Abuse
"An abuser may take control of all the money, withhold it, and conceal financial information from the victim. Financial abuse can also happen in elder abuse when a relative, friend, or caregiver steals money from an older person."
Economic abuse is a very common situation specifically for those that cannot do for themselves. There are people that abuse the system and ruin their child's credit going into adulthood because they place bills under their name. On the other end of the spectrum, you have the elder community who put their trust in people they love, caregivers, or licensed people to handle their finances. In the end, those people they trusted took advantage and stole their money, social security scams called taking their info, or worse. In between these extremes you have the generation of people from adolescence to adulthood who face different kinds of economic abuses in their relationships and friendships.
If you are older, it is imperative that you find people you can actually trust that will not take advantage of your finances while you are still here and have a say.
Abuse by Immigration Status
"Isolation: Preventing the victim from learning English or communicating with friends, family or others from their home countries.
Threats: Threatening deportation or withdrawal of petitions for legal status.
Intimidation: Destroying legal documents or papers needed in this country such as passports, resident cards, health insurance or driver’s licenses.
Manipulation Regarding Citizenship or Residency:Â Withdrawing or not filing papers for residency; lying by threatening that the victim will lose their citizenship or residency if they report the violence.
Economic Abuse: Getting the victim fired from their job or calling employers and falsely reporting that the victim is undocumented.
Children: Threatening to hurt children or take them away if the police are contacted." - thehotline.org
A very big political conversation in America is about immigration. Detained men, women, and children seeking a safer place to live are being forcibly removed and placed somewhere equally as harmful as the countries they left. When discussing immigration abuse, think about the maid that doesn't speak english, and her boss threatens to fire her if the maid tells any of his secrets. Think about the woman who is working to make sure her kids eat and her boss sexually harrasses her and threatens to deport her if she says a word to anybody. Think about the people that work unrealistic hours in order for their family to stay at the $900 apartment they can't afford. I won't go as far as putting an ethnicity to this particular topic, but this is a global issue.
Physical Abuse
"Physical abuse in a relationship often starts gradually, such as with a push or a slap, and then becomes progressively worse over time. Physical violence is always illegal. If you have been physically abused, there are things you can do to get support."
- au.reachout.com
Physical Violence is nothing new to the world. It is a festering way of life that for the most part never ends well for the victims. This topic of abuse is talked about last because people are starting to show their true colors now that we are in a time where "being yourself" is taken out of context and especially in relationships it has become a norm. The other reason this topic is last is because physical abuse is the first thing people think of when you start a conversation of abuse.
What can you do if you or someone you know might be abused?
- Establish a support system. People who you can count on.
- Know your worth in every relationship you are in.
- Do not be afraid to call for help
- Get out!
Abuse Hotlines
Hotline: 1 (888) 843 – 4564
Youth Talkline: 1 (800) 246 – 7743
Senior Helpline: 1 (888) 234 – 7243
Email:help@LGBThotline.org
Hours vary, available via phone and online chat.
Email hotline: https://hotline.womenslaw.org/
Hotline: 1 (800) 656-4673
Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week via phone and online chat.
Hotline: 1 (877) 995 – 5247
Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week via phone and online chat.
Hotline: 1-888-373-7888
Text: 233733
Hotline: 1 (800) 786 – 2929
Email:info@1800runaway.org
Hotline: 1 (800) 843 – 5678
Cyber Tipline:http://www.missingkids.com/gethelpnow/cybertipline
Hotline: 1 (800) 422 – 4453
Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week via phone and text.
Hotline: 1 (800) 448 – 3000
Text: Text VOICE to 20121 (hours vary)
Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week via phone, email, text, and online chat.
Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week via phone and online chat.
Hotline: 1 (800) 950 – 6264
Email:info@nami.org
Available Monday through Friday, 10:00am to 6:00pm Eastern Standard Time.
Hotline: 1 (800) 662 – 4357
Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week via phone in English and Spanish
Contact the VictimConnect Hotline by phone at 1-855-4-VICTIM
Hotline Source site: https://victimconnect.org/resources/national-hotlines/
Signing Off, this is the first ever CHICK CHAT Controvery. We hope to have shed light on a more serious topic that is penetrating everyday lives. This post will never be taken down, so the numbers listed for the hotlines will always be visible.
See You Soon!
Resource Links:
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